Jonah dusted himself off and admired his work. Hours and days spent in the library, pouring over countless books on summoning, he was finally going to do it. The summoning circle before him took him many hours and even more candles to draw, evident by the field of partially drawn ones littering the desert around him.
A sharp burn licked his hand and Jonah dropped the half burned candle he forgot he was holding. He cursed while scraping off the wax that dried on his. But it brought him back to reality. He picked up the tome his handiwork was from and flipped to the summoning ritual page, using the faint glow from the circle of candles around the runes and inscriptions. Once Jonah found the page he needed, he began chanting.
Dust swirled around Jonah. The summoning circle filled the air around him with a deep purple glow, outshining the warm orange light from Tanasia in the horizon. He did not know what the sound coming from his mouth meant, nor did he know what purpose the inscriptions he drew were for. He just followed the instructions and hoped it worked out. He kept his eyes closed and chanted while the ground beneath his feet rumbled.
Silence. The rumbling stopped and the vortex of air calmed to a light breeze.
Jonah held his breath and slowly opened his eyes. A figure stood in the circle’s center, faintly lit by the candles that were somehow not extinguished. Tall as a young elephant, built like an ox with horns to complement, eyes burning like fire, skin red and leathery. Jonah’s heart raced. He’d done it. He’d summoned a demon!
“Yes!” Jonah pumped his hand towards the sky with a jump. “Oh, I cannot believe it. Oh man, that rat Larry-”
“What is the meaning of this, mortal?” the demon growled. The manuscripts mentioned pride and perhaps anger was common in summoned demons, but Jonah only heard confusion and exasperation in the demon’s voice. He had also expected the demon to be wearing armor and maybe carrying a weapon. Instead, the demon was wearing what appeared to be a robe and had a turkey leg in his hand.
“I ask again, what is the meaning of this?”
“I- uhh-” Jonah cleared his throat but the nervousness and excitement remained. “My name is Jonah, and I have summoned thee into this realm so that I may barter fo-”
“I’m just going to stop you right there,” the demon interrupted. “Firstly, if you’re trying to make a deal with me for something, you’re doing it wrong. That’s not at all how you greet one of the Dark Realms. Secondly, I’m retired. I have more human souls than I know what to do with. That prick Mamitu must have messed with my summoning filter. So, no, I’m not taking your soul to give you the means for world domination or whatever your kind tends to summon us for.” Smoke erupted from the ground and swirled around the demon.
“Wait, wait, wait, don’t go! Please! I don’t want to rule the world or anything! I just need your help winning my eating competitions!” Jonah begged, waving his arms in the air as if it might somehow stop the demon from returning to his realm. And it did.
The smoke stopped swirling and dissipated, the demon staring at Jonah. “You…what? What did you want?”
“I want you to help me win all my eating competitions! I’m a professional competitive eater and I’m in a bit of a slump right now so I need your help.”
The demon kept his fiery eyes on Jonah, dropped the turkey leg in his hand and burst out laughing. At least Jonah thought he was laughing with the way his body was contorting, although it sounded more like howling with the tortured screams of the damned mixed in.
“You want me- Eating compe- Professional-” the demon managed to squeeze a few words out between his fits of laughter.
Jonah stood in a daze watching the demon make a mockery out of his wish, unsure of what to do or say, so he decided to let the demon laugh to his heart’s content. If he had a heart.
Eventually, the demon’s laugh subsided to wheezing and gasps for breaths. Jonah was certain that there were tears rolling down the demon’s cheeks. The demon took deep breaths and tried to get serious repeatedly but just kept breaking. “I’m sorry, I can’t stop. Just when I thought I’ve seen everything your kind has to offer, and trust me, I’ve seen a lot, you summoned me to win fucking competitions!” His voice’s pitch getting higher towards the end, something Jonah did not think possible for a creature of the Dark Realm.
“Yes, it seems trivial but this means everything to me. I can’t lose again. And not to Larry…” His voice trailing off as he pictured Larry’s smug freckled face.
“Alright, alright, I’ll help you. This is too stupid to pass up.” The demon caught his breath and his tone turned a tad more serious. “I am Asag, formerly of the Twelve Lords. I can see that you’re not well versed with proper summoning etiquette so I’m just going to skip all that. Never enjoyed those anyway, takes too long.”
Jonah fell on his knees. “Thank you, Lord Asag. I will be eternally loyal and grateful.”
“Don’t thank me just yet. I have not told you the price of my service.”
“Is it not my soul and eternal servitude after I die?”
Asag chuckled in a way that made Jonah uneasy. “Oh, what I have in mind is far better. Well, better for me, at least. I’m tired of harvesting souls. I don’t even know what to use them for anymore. For you, however, it’ll depend on whether you’re a glass half full or glass half empty type of guy.”
“So, what do I have to do?” The uneasiness made its way into Jonah’s stomach and tied itself into a knot.
“You, silly mortal,” Asag snapped his fingers and the summoning circle lit up again, sweeping up dust and pouring out smoke. When it all settled, a second figure stood beside Asag. She looked nothing like the towering demon beside her. She was slightly shorter than Jonah, had milky white skin, and long flowing hair whose color Jonah can only describe as the feeling of coming home to the love of your life. Her eyes was also different. Instead of raging fire, it was a shade of blue that reminded him of the ocean and sky. “Will marry my daughter.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Jonah was not processing what Asag had said. Nowhere in any of the books he had read say anything about marrying the supposed daughter of a demon. There was no way a beauty like her was a daughter of a demon. The tomes and manuscripts all described demons as large and red creatures, not a human like creature that looked more like an angel.
“You heard me. You’re marrying my Fehleena.” She did a curtsy and kept her head down.
“I don’t…understand…” Jonah muttered. This was not at all how he envisioned the night going. He was supposed to make a deal to sell his soul to a demon and be the reigning competitive eating champion in the realm, belly stuffed with auroch sausages or meat pies or lemon cakes day after day until the day he died.
“Listen here, you summoned me in the middle of my dinner and begged for my help. I agreed to help and laid out my terms. You are not getting out of this deal.”
“But we haven’t made a deal yet!”
“Oh, we have because I’ve already granted your request. You have been granted the power needed to win all your future competitions,” Asag said matter of factly.
“I don’t…what?”
“You have a competition tomorrow, don’t you? Just as well, as good a place as any for a wedding. We will hold the wedding there. Fehleena and I will be bringing a few guests so make sure there are seats for them. See you tomorrow.” Asag snapped his fingers and smoke once again poured out of the summoning circle, engulfing the demon and the beauty that is supposedly his daughter.The purple light faded, leaving Jonah lost for words in the sandy plain, accompanied by the turkey leg Asag had left. He picked up the half eaten drumstick and dusted it off, burn marks resembling the summoning circle seared into the side that laid on the ground. The desert breeze blew over Jonah.
That night, he laid in bed thinking about what had happened, the turkey leg from hell sat on his nightstand. He tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep but eventually, the sun rose over the mountains. The night had gone and tomorrow had come, all without a minute sleep.
~
Jonah dragged his feet towards the town hall of Tanasia, where the next competition was held. Rows upon rows of chairs and benches filled the hall, the autumn sun filtered through the windows. A long table stood on a stage with silver platters laid out across it. He rubbed his eyes and looked around as spectators and competitors bustled about. In his sleepy, dazed state, he prayed that he had been sleeping and the night before had been but a dream.
Alas, it was not.
Asag sat in the front row, except his skin was no longer red and leathery, nor was his stature towering over others. He instead looked like an impeccably well dressed normal human with his ornate wine colored robe and rings on his fingers, if slightly taller than average. The demon gave him a nod and smiled. He looked nothing like Jonah remembered but the competitive eater was sure it was him because…
Fehleena sat beside him, beautiful as he could remember in his sleepless state, a shawl wrapped over her head, complementing her flowing red dress. Her smile reminded him of the feeling of basking in the sun while a cool breeze blew over him.
Jonah approached the two gingerly.
“Ah, the man of the hour. So, Jonah, ready for the big day?” Asag asked with a grin.
Jonah just let his mouth hang open, unsure of what to say or how to respond, eyes darting between Asag and Fehleena. His body shaking. He did not know why he even approached them in the first place. He should have had a couple beers and stayed in bed.
“Nervous, I see. I know how you feel. I was so nervous on the day I married Fehleena’s mother, I accidentally sat on a few souls!” Asag laughed. “Anyway, just want to wish you good luck for your competition. We’ll be rooting for you!”
Fehleena reached out to take his right hand. Normally, Jonah would’ve jumped back but he was not sure why he didn’t. He blamed his lack of sleep on his muted response. The young lady ran her fingers over the burn he received from the night before and kissed it. Jonah winced and wanted to pull his hand back, but he also didn’t. The part of him that did not want to do so won. When Fehleena’s lips parted from his hand, the redness faded and the skin returned to its natural beige.
“Looks like Fehleena likes you,” Asag teased.
Jonah managed to squeeze out a feeble “thanks” before turning away and walked towards the ready room.
There were five other competitors. Of course, Larry among them. Short, round, shaped like a ball, Larry waddled towards Jonah. “May odds be in your flavor,” Larry greeted with his hand extended and a cheerful smile like he always did before their competitions. Jonah was sure he was mocking him but always returned the wishes and gesture for reasons beyond him.
They were invited to the stage and seated. Jonah stared into his tired reflection in the silver plate, wondering what was going to happen. The announcer was saying something but Jonah could only hear his own heart beating faster and faster. She must have said something exciting because he could see the crowd cheering from his peripheral vision. Then a plate stacked high with an assortment of cookies entered his field of view, bringing him back to the present.
“…Begin!”
Jonah caught that last word of the countdown and started wolfing down the cookies instinctively. As he placed placed each one in his mouth, it instantly melted into a delicious buttery goo, slipping down his throat like water. He kept going and going, placing more cookies into his mouth and swallowing. All the time ignoring the chaos that erupted around him, his competitors throwing up what they had eaten. Groans and gasps of disgust resounded throughout the hall. Jonah glanced at Asag and Fehleena.
Asag was in a fit of laughter while Fehleena had her eyes rolled with a look of exasperation. Jonah then looked around, finally noticing the pandemonium. The announcer was nowhere to be found. Larry was curled up in a ball, sobbing with traces of vomit around his mouth. Jonah picked up a cookie from Larry’s plate and broke it in two. A foul stench filled his nostrils and he threw them away.
~
The commotion died down when the organizers of the competition ushered everyone out and apologised, bringing all the affected contestants into the ready room. Only Jonah, Asag and Fehleena remained in the hall, Jonah still trying to come to terms with what happened while Asag admired the aftermath.
“That was a good laugh. I has been a long time since I had such fun.” Asag wiped his eyes dry of tears. “I must say, thank you for summoning me, Jonah.”
“What was that? What did you do?”
“I swapped your competitors’ cookies with cookies from the Dark Realm! The ones we feed to your kind that end up there! Oh, I did not expect such a fantastic reaction.”
“Father…that was not nice,” Fehleena said. It was the first time Jonah had heard her voice and it sounded like it was sung by angels. “My betrothed, I sincerely apologise for my father’s…prank.”
Jonah was so entranced by her beauty that he just laughed and shrugged, immediately regretting his reaction.
“Oh, don’t be like your mother, Fehl, let me have some fun.” Asag turned to Jonah. “Anyway, are you ready for the wedding?”
“I…is it too late to say no?”
“Yes. The time was yesterday, before you summoned me.” Asag snapped his fingers and the hall was suddenly bustling with activity again. Figures busied themselves cleaning up and setting up the hall for a wedding. “Now, get ready to join the family of angels and demons.”
Fehleena smiled at Jonah. His heart melted and reached out to hold her hand.
Perhaps it was not that bad.